Gone, but not forgotten...
We all leave imprints on each other and he surely touched and remains with me. This, I guess, is the life after death. Memories of his kindness and wit - enrich me still.
Kathryn Kaldor
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Uncle Clay
A message from Gwen Jenkins
While "nice" seems like a rather bland word to describe Clay, that is indeed what he was. And gentle and kind and thoughtful and so caring. This was not lost on the younger members of the Jenkins clan. About five and a half years ago, when we were still in the getting-acquainted process, Deborah, Todd, and the children were preparing to move up to their present home in Monument. The night before the scheduled moving day Miranda, then 7, suffered a seizure. The reason is still unknown, but after the emergency room visit and tests, she was exhausted. The next morning she was still groggy, as friends arrived to help with the move. Clay and Rachel happened to be in town, so they pitched in, as well. However, Clay took it upon himself to be Miranda's "keeper" during that long day, sitting on the couch with her (until someone moved it), hugging her and talking quietly. That's an image I shall always carry with me. She was so content to snuggle with him, and from then on they were special buddies. All of our grandchildren loved him and he endeared himself to our family, as he did to everyone, just by "being Clay".
While "nice" seems like a rather bland word to describe Clay, that is indeed what he was. And gentle and kind and thoughtful and so caring. This was not lost on the younger members of the Jenkins clan. About five and a half years ago, when we were still in the getting-acquainted process, Deborah, Todd, and the children were preparing to move up to their present home in Monument. The night before the scheduled moving day Miranda, then 7, suffered a seizure. The reason is still unknown, but after the emergency room visit and tests, she was exhausted. The next morning she was still groggy, as friends arrived to help with the move. Clay and Rachel happened to be in town, so they pitched in, as well. However, Clay took it upon himself to be Miranda's "keeper" during that long day, sitting on the couch with her (until someone moved it), hugging her and talking quietly. That's an image I shall always carry with me. She was so content to snuggle with him, and from then on they were special buddies. All of our grandchildren loved him and he endeared himself to our family, as he did to everyone, just by "being Clay".
A message from Sarah Krall
This is from an email I wrote to Rachel on 9 September. Last Friday she suggested I try to post my feelings; that it might help me; her sister had done the same thing. Articulate, I'm not, but my love and appreciation is there all the same.
I'm sorry I left so soon after the ceremony. Selfishly, I didn't need to talk any more. I just drove around in the canyon awhile and said my own thoughts. Rachel (this is really important), lying in bed that night I finally realized what was wrong and what I could have actually stood up and said in front of everyone. And I'm gonna kick myself in the butt for eons because I was listening too hard to think. No one honored Clay's love for you; no one spoke of your love and dedication and just the fun-loving spirit you had for each other. Maybe we were all too wrapped up in our personal pain, but I can not believe I didn't come up with it in time.
Sarah
I'm sorry I left so soon after the ceremony. Selfishly, I didn't need to talk any more. I just drove around in the canyon awhile and said my own thoughts. Rachel (this is really important), lying in bed that night I finally realized what was wrong and what I could have actually stood up and said in front of everyone. And I'm gonna kick myself in the butt for eons because I was listening too hard to think. No one honored Clay's love for you; no one spoke of your love and dedication and just the fun-loving spirit you had for each other. Maybe we were all too wrapped up in our personal pain, but I can not believe I didn't come up with it in time.
Sarah
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Clay's Compassion of Spirit
Like Rachel's sister, Deborah, I'm sure many of us had things we wish we'd said at Clay's Celebration...but, for whatever reason it didn't happen. There was something else that I wish I'd said to the masses...but then again, it would've made me cry. Not that we weren't all crying at Clay's Celebration...but, standing there in front of everybody, I don't know that I could've retreated as gracefully/successfully as Dan onto another Clay story....buying more time to get composed again.
What I wish I'd said is something I have no doubt that all of Clay's friends would agree with...very much in line with Michelle's comment that "Clay was on the 'far side of nice'". The fact that I can't think of a single person who would have a bad thing to say about Clay...because he NEVER spoke ill of anyone. He only spoke kindly and positively about everyone and everything. I can't say that for even myself personally. I voice my opinions all the time...and will say that there are some folks I don't care too much for their antics...but, you would never-ever hear Clay say anything poorly about anyone. He would merely just choose to not say anything vs something negative. It was this compassion of spirit that was so incredibly endearing about him.
What I wish I'd said is something I have no doubt that all of Clay's friends would agree with...very much in line with Michelle's comment that "Clay was on the 'far side of nice'". The fact that I can't think of a single person who would have a bad thing to say about Clay...because he NEVER spoke ill of anyone. He only spoke kindly and positively about everyone and everything. I can't say that for even myself personally. I voice my opinions all the time...and will say that there are some folks I don't care too much for their antics...but, you would never-ever hear Clay say anything poorly about anyone. He would merely just choose to not say anything vs something negative. It was this compassion of spirit that was so incredibly endearing about him.
Clay's Thoughts on Soulmates
Below is an excerpt from a longer msg I received from Clay. I have thought often about his expanded definition of "soulmates". I just think this is a lovely quote from him...and sums up so much about him...and why he drew SO MANY people so close to him. He had endless SOULMATES in his life.
On 18 April 2006, Clay wrote:
An insight that I gained from someone who was quite close to me is that "soulmate" is beyond the idea of "the one and only" person "meant" for someone. Soulmates actually provide great development for each other. Sometimes that road is rocky and other times it's more fun like rocky road ice cream:)
We are certainly Soulmates. I thank you for continuing to journey together. Certainly there are more adventures to come:)
On 18 April 2006, Clay wrote:
An insight that I gained from someone who was quite close to me is that "soulmate" is beyond the idea of "the one and only" person "meant" for someone. Soulmates actually provide great development for each other. Sometimes that road is rocky and other times it's more fun like rocky road ice cream:)
We are certainly Soulmates. I thank you for continuing to journey together. Certainly there are more adventures to come:)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
For Rachel
I have spent this last week reflecting on the celebration of Clay’s life that so many of us shared in Lander last week, and so many others from far away. I send my heartfelt thanks to all who helped plan, coordinate, and execute such a beautiful tribute.
So many people told great stories about Clay. Some knew him as a boy, or as a young man deciding on a whim to cast off his business suit and go teach scuba diving. Others knew him on the Ice, or in Glacier. In retrospect, I am regretting that I didn't speak at the celebration, too. For whatever reason, the things that I would have said came to me about 36 hours too late to be useful.
The truth is lots and lots of people knew Clay better than I did, and part of my sadness comes from the fact that I always thought there would be time. So if it’s true that he would have wanted us each to get something out of the experience of losing him, for me it's the realization that we should never assume there will be time.
I knew Clay because he loved my sister, and so my story would have been about Rachel. When we were kids, she and I used to go into toy stores and set all the stuffed animals upright on the shelves so they could all see. (OK, I admit that we still do that.) It might seem weird to say that stuffed animals could be profound symbols of a relationship, but for me that is in fact what they are. They represent whimsy, playfulness, simplicity, gentleness, and the all-important “sense of silly” that have always made my sister-hood with Rachel a safe harbor in a storm for me. She has the gift of easy laughter. In our family pictures she was always the one sticking her tongue out and being goofy. Clay touched that part of her, and understood it, and brought it out. And she, in turn, brought it out in him. I think of him now, posing for pictures with Orson, the traveling bear. I think of how he gave Rachel her perfect nickname- Lamb. And I remember how he took care of her with such gentleness when her beloved dog Craig died.
Finally, I think I would have shared this poem, which makes me think of Clay because Rachel has told me that one of his gifts to her was to help her be braver. She says he gave her greater courage to embrace the world, and all that it offers to our imaginations.
We all miss you, Clay. We all wish we had more time.
Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
So many people told great stories about Clay. Some knew him as a boy, or as a young man deciding on a whim to cast off his business suit and go teach scuba diving. Others knew him on the Ice, or in Glacier. In retrospect, I am regretting that I didn't speak at the celebration, too. For whatever reason, the things that I would have said came to me about 36 hours too late to be useful.
The truth is lots and lots of people knew Clay better than I did, and part of my sadness comes from the fact that I always thought there would be time. So if it’s true that he would have wanted us each to get something out of the experience of losing him, for me it's the realization that we should never assume there will be time.
I knew Clay because he loved my sister, and so my story would have been about Rachel. When we were kids, she and I used to go into toy stores and set all the stuffed animals upright on the shelves so they could all see. (OK, I admit that we still do that.) It might seem weird to say that stuffed animals could be profound symbols of a relationship, but for me that is in fact what they are. They represent whimsy, playfulness, simplicity, gentleness, and the all-important “sense of silly” that have always made my sister-hood with Rachel a safe harbor in a storm for me. She has the gift of easy laughter. In our family pictures she was always the one sticking her tongue out and being goofy. Clay touched that part of her, and understood it, and brought it out. And she, in turn, brought it out in him. I think of him now, posing for pictures with Orson, the traveling bear. I think of how he gave Rachel her perfect nickname- Lamb. And I remember how he took care of her with such gentleness when her beloved dog Craig died.
Finally, I think I would have shared this poem, which makes me think of Clay because Rachel has told me that one of his gifts to her was to help her be braver. She says he gave her greater courage to embrace the world, and all that it offers to our imaginations.
We all miss you, Clay. We all wish we had more time.
Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
This Is Hard!!
This has been a tough few weeks for me. Now I know why. You have been found. I really hope there is a life after because I really have a lot of shit I want to talk to you about!
Our Eternal Love
Bob & Wendy
Our Eternal Love
Bob & Wendy
Thursday, June 12, 2008
A Forever Friend
Since Clay disappeared in November, whenever I look at his photo or think of him(which
has been so often!), I hear his voice greeting me, "ANNIE B'NANNIE!!" Then I hear his greeting to Sally Ayotte, "SALLY RAND McNALLY!!" And I hear his laugh, always his laugh.
I am writing from McMurdo, where I am wintering over, and where I knew Clay best. I had
the pleasure of knowing Clay and working with him here at MacOps, doing field party radio
communications. While we rarely worked 'together' due to our alternating shifts, we had
common interests and friends, and we had what I sometimes call a "just add water" friendship.
It was so easy to be Clay's friend.
Many words come to mind in describing Clay: funny and quirky, solid and dependable, a gentle-man, loyal, articulate and sharp. He was wise beyond his years. Talking with a friend about the lack of clues around his disappearance, she wondered if he might have been taken by a spaceship? "Because he'd be the kind of human being, that a civilization on another planet would want to learn from!" she said. No doubt about it, he was special. He was truly a gift to us all.
Year after year, I couldn't figure out why this wonderful, tall, dark and handsome man remained
single? Until Rachel came along. Instead of being the 'girl next door', she was the 'girl on the radio crew next door'. Together, their laughs multiplied. Their love was born, and their life together grew. Since then, between Denali NPS and Glacier NPS, NZ and the ice, it has been so great to continue to cross paths with you both!
My last correspondence with Clay had to do with one of his great passions in life, career and life skills coaching. Clay was a man who lived by his convictions, he walked his talk. He did in life
as he did on the trail-encouraged us all to reach our full potential, to explore, to go the distance. As he offered me thoughts on taking the necessary steps toward a new life path, he shared a pieced-together quote from Loving What Is, by one of his recent favorite authors, Byron Katie: "We never receive more than we can handle and there is always just one thing to do... Whether you have ten dollars or ten million dollars, life never gets more difficult than that. We really are alive when we live as simply as that-open, waiting, trusting, and loving what appears in front of us now. What we need to do unfolds before us, always."
With so much love to you, Rachel, and to all of the Rubano family.
has been so often!), I hear his voice greeting me, "ANNIE B'NANNIE!!" Then I hear his greeting to Sally Ayotte, "SALLY RAND McNALLY!!" And I hear his laugh, always his laugh.
I am writing from McMurdo, where I am wintering over, and where I knew Clay best. I had
the pleasure of knowing Clay and working with him here at MacOps, doing field party radio
communications. While we rarely worked 'together' due to our alternating shifts, we had
common interests and friends, and we had what I sometimes call a "just add water" friendship.
It was so easy to be Clay's friend.
Many words come to mind in describing Clay: funny and quirky, solid and dependable, a gentle-man, loyal, articulate and sharp. He was wise beyond his years. Talking with a friend about the lack of clues around his disappearance, she wondered if he might have been taken by a spaceship? "Because he'd be the kind of human being, that a civilization on another planet would want to learn from!" she said. No doubt about it, he was special. He was truly a gift to us all.
Year after year, I couldn't figure out why this wonderful, tall, dark and handsome man remained
single? Until Rachel came along. Instead of being the 'girl next door', she was the 'girl on the radio crew next door'. Together, their laughs multiplied. Their love was born, and their life together grew. Since then, between Denali NPS and Glacier NPS, NZ and the ice, it has been so great to continue to cross paths with you both!
My last correspondence with Clay had to do with one of his great passions in life, career and life skills coaching. Clay was a man who lived by his convictions, he walked his talk. He did in life
as he did on the trail-encouraged us all to reach our full potential, to explore, to go the distance. As he offered me thoughts on taking the necessary steps toward a new life path, he shared a pieced-together quote from Loving What Is, by one of his recent favorite authors, Byron Katie: "We never receive more than we can handle and there is always just one thing to do... Whether you have ten dollars or ten million dollars, life never gets more difficult than that. We really are alive when we live as simply as that-open, waiting, trusting, and loving what appears in front of us now. What we need to do unfolds before us, always."
With so much love to you, Rachel, and to all of the Rubano family.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Update from Freemont County Sheriff's Office
It is still winter up on the mountain with snow forcasted for the rest of the week. Everyone is prepared to continue looking for Clay and giving the family and friends some closure. It is the intention of the Fremont County Sheriff's Office to cover the entire area again with Search Dogs when the weather warms up enough to effectively utilize the dogs. There is also a pretty strong local group of people that are on standby waiting for the right time. We cannot set a specific date as Mother Nature never tells us when it will thaw enough to search. We are wanting to get in the area prior to high water and as soon as reasonably possible. I believe it will probably be mid-May before we go, but if we get a very warm week, we will go asap. John Gookin of NOLS is our Search and Rescue Commander in Lander and John will run this search.
I spoke with Margaret Goodro about a month ago and she is planning on another search in early June. Margaret is the Chief Ranger in the Roosevelt Lake area. She will be the Incident Commander for that search and can be reached at phone 509-633-9441 or at e-mail Margaret_Goodro@nps.gov
Margaret is very sharp and keeps the Sheriff's office in the loop of her plans and works very well with us.
In closing, I feel we have an excellent chance of recovering Clay. I want to thank everyone for their patience and understanding in the matter.
Captain David Good
Fremont County Sheriff's Office
460 Railroad
Lander, Wyoming 82520
phone 307-332-1024
e-mail dgood@wyoming.com
I spoke with Margaret Goodro about a month ago and she is planning on another search in early June. Margaret is the Chief Ranger in the Roosevelt Lake area. She will be the Incident Commander for that search and can be reached at phone 509-633-9441 or at e-mail Margaret_Goodro@nps.gov
Margaret is very sharp and keeps the Sheriff's office in the loop of her plans and works very well with us.
In closing, I feel we have an excellent chance of recovering Clay. I want to thank everyone for their patience and understanding in the matter.
Captain David Good
Fremont County Sheriff's Office
460 Railroad
Lander, Wyoming 82520
phone 307-332-1024
e-mail dgood@wyoming.com
Thursday, January 31, 2008
A Bear Hug for Rachel
On Friday, Jan. 25, the Glacier National Park community hosted a benefit to help raise money for spring search efforts. The benefit consisted of a chili cook-off plus a live and silent auction. Because a number of folks were unable to attend the actual event, a virtual auction was held the week prior.
Event organizers were amazed by the turn-out and generosity of folks, over 170 auction items were donated. All the auctions were a source of laughter and entertainment. Some of the hot ticket items were original oil paintings of Glacier landscapes plus Jan Knox's bears. Jan made green and gray ranger uniforms, complete with flat hats, for these cute stuffed bears.
Almost $10,000 was raised between the chili feed, auctions and donations. What a tremendous bear hug for Rachel.
Posted for Jan Cauthorn-Page
Event organizers were amazed by the turn-out and generosity of folks, over 170 auction items were donated. All the auctions were a source of laughter and entertainment. Some of the hot ticket items were original oil paintings of Glacier landscapes plus Jan Knox's bears. Jan made green and gray ranger uniforms, complete with flat hats, for these cute stuffed bears.
Almost $10,000 was raised between the chili feed, auctions and donations. What a tremendous bear hug for Rachel.
Posted for Jan Cauthorn-Page
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
2008 - HAPPY NEW YEAR, Big Brother !!!
ON EARTH, THE SUN GUIDED YOU BY DAY & THE STARS BY NIGHT ---
YOUR LAUGHTER BROUGHT GOOD CHEER & YOUR SMILE A BRIGHT LIGHT.
SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS, HONESTY, SENSITIVITY & DARING ---
YOU WENT ABOUT YOUR LIFE SPREADING HOPE, WISDOM & CARING.
NOW, ANGELS CARRY YOU TO A NEW KIND OF HOME ---
FLYING OVER THE WORLD WHICH YOU LOVED TO ROAM.
YOU FEEL WONDER & JOY AS THEIR WINGS TOUCH THE SKY ---
YOU LOOK DOWN WITH LOVE ... AND WAVE A LAST GOODBYE.
NOW, YOU SEE EVERY PERSON YOU EVER KNEW ---
THE SPIRIT OF EACH ONE IS CARRIED IN YOU.
YOU THANK EACH ONE IN VERY SPECIAL & UNIQUE WAYS ---
GIVING US GIFTS FROM NATURE TO TREASURE IN FUTURE DAYS.
THIS PAST CHRISTMAS IN TWO-THOUSAND AND SEVEN ---
YOU GAVE ME A SAND-DOLLAR SENT STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN.
ON THIS COLD WINTER DAY, YOU HELPED ME TO COPE ---
A SIMPLE GIFT FROM THE SEA FILLED MY SOUL WITH HOPE.
I KNEW YOU HAD FOUND PEACE & WERE SMILING FROM ABOVE ---
I KNEW YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE HOLDING ME IN LOVE.
NEAR OR FAR, I KEEP YOU FOREVER IN MY HEART ---
BIG BROTHER & LITTLE SISTER NEVER FAR APART.
YOUR SPIRIT SOARS LIKE AN EAGLE IN THE WIND ---
YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR JOURNEY IN A STORY WITHOUT END.
NOW, WITH GREAT EASE YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART'S TRUE DESIRE ---
LOOK, THERE YOU GO AGAIN ... CLIMBING EVEN HIGHER!
Happy New Year, Big Brother!!
With Everlasting Love,
Joanie
P.S. - I want to encourage anyone who reads this blog to seek the gifts Clay brings to you too !!
YOUR LAUGHTER BROUGHT GOOD CHEER & YOUR SMILE A BRIGHT LIGHT.
SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS, HONESTY, SENSITIVITY & DARING ---
YOU WENT ABOUT YOUR LIFE SPREADING HOPE, WISDOM & CARING.
NOW, ANGELS CARRY YOU TO A NEW KIND OF HOME ---
FLYING OVER THE WORLD WHICH YOU LOVED TO ROAM.
YOU FEEL WONDER & JOY AS THEIR WINGS TOUCH THE SKY ---
YOU LOOK DOWN WITH LOVE ... AND WAVE A LAST GOODBYE.
NOW, YOU SEE EVERY PERSON YOU EVER KNEW ---
THE SPIRIT OF EACH ONE IS CARRIED IN YOU.
YOU THANK EACH ONE IN VERY SPECIAL & UNIQUE WAYS ---
GIVING US GIFTS FROM NATURE TO TREASURE IN FUTURE DAYS.
THIS PAST CHRISTMAS IN TWO-THOUSAND AND SEVEN ---
YOU GAVE ME A SAND-DOLLAR SENT STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN.
ON THIS COLD WINTER DAY, YOU HELPED ME TO COPE ---
A SIMPLE GIFT FROM THE SEA FILLED MY SOUL WITH HOPE.
I KNEW YOU HAD FOUND PEACE & WERE SMILING FROM ABOVE ---
I KNEW YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE HOLDING ME IN LOVE.
NEAR OR FAR, I KEEP YOU FOREVER IN MY HEART ---
BIG BROTHER & LITTLE SISTER NEVER FAR APART.
YOUR SPIRIT SOARS LIKE AN EAGLE IN THE WIND ---
YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR JOURNEY IN A STORY WITHOUT END.
NOW, WITH GREAT EASE YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART'S TRUE DESIRE ---
LOOK, THERE YOU GO AGAIN ... CLIMBING EVEN HIGHER!
Happy New Year, Big Brother!!
With Everlasting Love,
Joanie
P.S. - I want to encourage anyone who reads this blog to seek the gifts Clay brings to you too !!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Message from Della Lonner
Just looking at Clay's picture on this blog makes me smile. Clay has such good energy about him that he makes everyone smile. I have known Clay and Rachel since 2001, from working in the beautiful Many Glacier valley. They are like family to me even though I've only known them for 7 years. The summers I worked the same position as Clay were most fun! He taught me to be professional on the radio as well as all the ins and outs of good communication.
People would come in to the ranger station when I was working and with a shocked and disappointed look on their faces say, "Oh. You're not Clay. Where is he? When will he be back?" At first I was offended but then I realized that these people had bonded with Clay after only talking to him for a few minutes! I would just smile and tell them that he'd be back in a few days. They would accept their defeat and slump out the door to wait out the non-Clay days at the ranger station. I told Clay about this occuring and he just laughed his cheery and yet humble laugh.
I feel fortunate to have had a job where I looked forward to going to work. The reason was because of good people like Clay and Rachel! They make life fun and you just want to be around them as much as possible.The other day a lady was telling me about a friend of hers who went on a hike and did not show up. A month later he made it out. He had fallen and hit his head and had amnesia. He didn't know where he was but he made it out. Crazy things happen in life.
Clay and Rachel, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
I love you both!-Della
People would come in to the ranger station when I was working and with a shocked and disappointed look on their faces say, "Oh. You're not Clay. Where is he? When will he be back?" At first I was offended but then I realized that these people had bonded with Clay after only talking to him for a few minutes! I would just smile and tell them that he'd be back in a few days. They would accept their defeat and slump out the door to wait out the non-Clay days at the ranger station. I told Clay about this occuring and he just laughed his cheery and yet humble laugh.
I feel fortunate to have had a job where I looked forward to going to work. The reason was because of good people like Clay and Rachel! They make life fun and you just want to be around them as much as possible.The other day a lady was telling me about a friend of hers who went on a hike and did not show up. A month later he made it out. He had fallen and hit his head and had amnesia. He didn't know where he was but he made it out. Crazy things happen in life.
Clay and Rachel, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
I love you both!-Della
Monday, December 17, 2007
Message from Lisa Ferber
My favorite memories/images of Clay are crossing paths with him skate skiing on the Willy road at McMurdo and also Clay and Rachel glowing together at Sunday brunch in the galley surrounded by good friends…
As so many of you have already said, what a bright star Clay will always be! Clay has been so wonderfully encouraging of my career path/soul searching especially this past year. He always has great recommendations of articles to read, things to think about, tools to use, etc. When I was so tired of trying to figure it out and I wanted to just sign up for a school program, Clay encouraged me to keep exploring alternatives for just a bit longer. Only because of this encouragement did I continue to search and am now on a path I would not have before considered. Thanks, Clay! I especially think of one nugget of wisdom that he passed along to me…that when we prioritize our lives, we should aim to do those activities that are our highest priorities at the time of day that we are most productive. I think of this each day and try to make it happen because it is seriously good advice! Also, as someone also said before, his “checking in” emails come at exactly the right times. Of course, Clay has insight, ideas, and resources for many other life areas besides career stuff, including broken hearts and illnesses.
I have been wanting to write to this blog for some time now, but it felt hard to find the words. Indeed, this situation of having Clay still missing has shaken my foundation of seemingly cliché ideals including “everything happens for a reason” and “things work out exactly as they should.” Nothing can explain this situation to me. This situation has given me understanding of some of the people whom I did not hear from when I was sick a few years ago. I now understand how it feels to want to express something, but to feel unable to find the right words.
Rachel & Clay, you are in my thoughts more often than you could know.
BIG HUGS! Lisa
lisa_ferber@yahoo.com
As so many of you have already said, what a bright star Clay will always be! Clay has been so wonderfully encouraging of my career path/soul searching especially this past year. He always has great recommendations of articles to read, things to think about, tools to use, etc. When I was so tired of trying to figure it out and I wanted to just sign up for a school program, Clay encouraged me to keep exploring alternatives for just a bit longer. Only because of this encouragement did I continue to search and am now on a path I would not have before considered. Thanks, Clay! I especially think of one nugget of wisdom that he passed along to me…that when we prioritize our lives, we should aim to do those activities that are our highest priorities at the time of day that we are most productive. I think of this each day and try to make it happen because it is seriously good advice! Also, as someone also said before, his “checking in” emails come at exactly the right times. Of course, Clay has insight, ideas, and resources for many other life areas besides career stuff, including broken hearts and illnesses.
I have been wanting to write to this blog for some time now, but it felt hard to find the words. Indeed, this situation of having Clay still missing has shaken my foundation of seemingly cliché ideals including “everything happens for a reason” and “things work out exactly as they should.” Nothing can explain this situation to me. This situation has given me understanding of some of the people whom I did not hear from when I was sick a few years ago. I now understand how it feels to want to express something, but to feel unable to find the right words.
Rachel & Clay, you are in my thoughts more often than you could know.
BIG HUGS! Lisa
lisa_ferber@yahoo.com
Monday, December 10, 2007
It is hard not to smile when we think of Clay!
Like many, I want to say something about Clay to help put a smile on many disbelieving faces. Thinking back over the years there were so many profound things that Clay and I had dialogs and emails about. They ranged from the state of the universe to the movie, “What the Bleep…” No doubt that I was not the only one.
Back in 1995, I met Clay when out of the blue I received a call from him wanting to meet Wendy and I to discuss an idea he had about experiential learning for corporate teams. We had never met this guy, but when we did meet at a micro brewery in San Diego, he already knew more about our website and business plan than we did. Wendy later shared that she thought he was an investigative reporter researching us. Her thoughts quickly quelled because of his sincerity, warmth and that laugh. Eventually, when he was at RMOC, we did work together on some projects that were not only great fun, but very effective team programs.
Rachel, rarely did Clay really talk about himself in depth to me. He was not secretive, but just quiet about himself. One day, I receive the rare phone call and we talked a bit about him feeling that he was searching for something or someone. It was intense and it bothered him enough to call. Many emails later, it was clear that it was someone he was searching for. I remember that he talked a lot about the book Wendy and I wrote about how we met and the defining moments that came quickly for us. Typical Clay, he wanted to analyze all the details. I actually got mad at him and wrote this lengthy email about how he should stop trying to figure it out and start making “left turns” in his life when everything logical told him to turn right. Well he did, and it was not too long later that I received an email about this person named Rachel. Clay was ecstatic!
Like others, I remember the famous email from “the ice” announcing the engagement and I could feel his sense of adventure, excitement and completeness. I clearly remember, as if it was today, feeling Clay’s sense of being whole and complete.
Rachel, Wendy and I believe that there is nothing greater that one person can offer another than to make them whole and complete. We know for sure that you are that person for Clay.
All of our love to you Rachel. Hope to see you soon.
Bob Root & Wendy Steele
Back in 1995, I met Clay when out of the blue I received a call from him wanting to meet Wendy and I to discuss an idea he had about experiential learning for corporate teams. We had never met this guy, but when we did meet at a micro brewery in San Diego, he already knew more about our website and business plan than we did. Wendy later shared that she thought he was an investigative reporter researching us. Her thoughts quickly quelled because of his sincerity, warmth and that laugh. Eventually, when he was at RMOC, we did work together on some projects that were not only great fun, but very effective team programs.
Rachel, rarely did Clay really talk about himself in depth to me. He was not secretive, but just quiet about himself. One day, I receive the rare phone call and we talked a bit about him feeling that he was searching for something or someone. It was intense and it bothered him enough to call. Many emails later, it was clear that it was someone he was searching for. I remember that he talked a lot about the book Wendy and I wrote about how we met and the defining moments that came quickly for us. Typical Clay, he wanted to analyze all the details. I actually got mad at him and wrote this lengthy email about how he should stop trying to figure it out and start making “left turns” in his life when everything logical told him to turn right. Well he did, and it was not too long later that I received an email about this person named Rachel. Clay was ecstatic!
Like others, I remember the famous email from “the ice” announcing the engagement and I could feel his sense of adventure, excitement and completeness. I clearly remember, as if it was today, feeling Clay’s sense of being whole and complete.
Rachel, Wendy and I believe that there is nothing greater that one person can offer another than to make them whole and complete. We know for sure that you are that person for Clay.
All of our love to you Rachel. Hope to see you soon.
Bob Root & Wendy Steele
Sunday, December 9, 2007
It's the little things . . .
Though Clay and Rachel have been on my mind constantly ever since I received the news that he was missing, I waited to write for fear my post might not be profound or meaningful enough to add to the blog. I decided to write anyway because regardless of how well I knew Clay, he has touched my life. It may not be profound to others, but Clay enriched my life through the little things: by being himself, sharing experiences in the Many Glacier community, and by making me smile.
Every time Clay comes to mind, I see him smiling, standing tall in his green and gray ranger uniform, in charge of the Many Glacier Ranger Station. I say "in charge" because he ran that place like no one else (no offense to my other friends who have also done outstanding work behind that desk). I'm sure he got just as tired of all the same questions as everyone else does, but he never let that show to the visitors. He was professional, knowledgeable, and pleasant in every visitor contact I ever saw him make. Every time I was able to help him in any capacity he always thanked me with a smile, a nod of his head, and a, "Thank you for your help in these matters." He made coming to the Ranger Station a joy and always said something that sent me away with a smile on my face. Most recently, this summer, Clay made me smile (maybe even blush) by bringing to my mind a Nattie he remembered me receiving years ago. (There are some things we'd like people to forget.) :) He "oohed and ahhed" with us at the Fourth of July, laughed and imbibed with us at the Margaritaville party, and was always fun to talk with whenever our paths crossed whether in the Ranger Station, the laundry room, or at a potluck.
Clay is an important member of our Glacier community, a group of people who share a special bond. From what I have read, it appears that Clay was important to many other groups and individuals as well. Thank you for your impact on all of us, Clay. We all miss you greatly and are thinking of you with a smile.
Every time Clay comes to mind, I see him smiling, standing tall in his green and gray ranger uniform, in charge of the Many Glacier Ranger Station. I say "in charge" because he ran that place like no one else (no offense to my other friends who have also done outstanding work behind that desk). I'm sure he got just as tired of all the same questions as everyone else does, but he never let that show to the visitors. He was professional, knowledgeable, and pleasant in every visitor contact I ever saw him make. Every time I was able to help him in any capacity he always thanked me with a smile, a nod of his head, and a, "Thank you for your help in these matters." He made coming to the Ranger Station a joy and always said something that sent me away with a smile on my face. Most recently, this summer, Clay made me smile (maybe even blush) by bringing to my mind a Nattie he remembered me receiving years ago. (There are some things we'd like people to forget.) :) He "oohed and ahhed" with us at the Fourth of July, laughed and imbibed with us at the Margaritaville party, and was always fun to talk with whenever our paths crossed whether in the Ranger Station, the laundry room, or at a potluck.
Clay is an important member of our Glacier community, a group of people who share a special bond. From what I have read, it appears that Clay was important to many other groups and individuals as well. Thank you for your impact on all of us, Clay. We all miss you greatly and are thinking of you with a smile.
Search update
A stalwart and devoted crew spent Tues, Wed & Thurs searching a few areas of interest as reported by the previous dog teams. No new clues were found and this likely ends the search effort through the winter, unless any major new developments emerge. If people would like specifics or are considering their own search up the canyon, please check in with Capt. David Good at the Sheriff's Office as they will remain the primary point of contact.
Margaret Goodro is planning a search in the spring and if you are interested in participating, please contact her at: mlgoodro@yahoo.com.
Rachel is currently down in Colorado Springs to be with her family. Please feel free to send her an email or to post your thoughts on this blog.
Thank you to everyone for the caring and support you have shown during these difficult times. Clay and Rachel are in all of our thoughts.
Margaret Goodro is planning a search in the spring and if you are interested in participating, please contact her at: mlgoodro@yahoo.com.
Rachel is currently down in Colorado Springs to be with her family. Please feel free to send her an email or to post your thoughts on this blog.
Thank you to everyone for the caring and support you have shown during these difficult times. Clay and Rachel are in all of our thoughts.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Message from Michelle Cummings
I met Clay in 1998 at RMOC. What a gift he is to so many people! We have stayed in touch over the years and I always enjoy his smile and big warm laugh. I enjoyed rafting with him down Browns Canyon and facilitating groups with him. He is such a talented outdoorsman and I was always inspired by the ‘risks’ he would take. Many thoughts and prayers to you Rachel and everyone else who is touched by Clay.
Michelle
Michelle Cummings
michelle@training-wheels.com
Michelle
Michelle Cummings
michelle@training-wheels.com
Message from Kat Smithhammer
It was over a year ago, that I was invited to a beer drinking opportunity at the RM and met Clay. Quickly, we engaged in sharing leadership beliefs, theories, models & concepts. Clay got out his books; I took eager notes and borrowed a couple for the weekend.
Periodically, we exchange titles, thoughts and leadership quests. Perfectly this summer, our work paths joined at NOLS PRO.
Clay has reminded to me to give way to the coincidental encounters, risk the conversation and to always invest the time to learn from one another.
Clay -- I am forever grateful!
Kat Smithhammer
Kat R. Smithhammer
Professional Training Program Coordinator
National Outdoor Leadership School
kat_smithhammer@nols.edu
Periodically, we exchange titles, thoughts and leadership quests. Perfectly this summer, our work paths joined at NOLS PRO.
Clay has reminded to me to give way to the coincidental encounters, risk the conversation and to always invest the time to learn from one another.
Clay -- I am forever grateful!
Kat Smithhammer
Kat R. Smithhammer
Professional Training Program Coordinator
National Outdoor Leadership School
kat_smithhammer@nols.edu
Monday, December 3, 2007
.......Beyond the summit of Earth................
"Beyond the summit of Earth" was a phrase Clay used in an e-mail informing me of another friend's passing last July. True to his nature, he seemed to suggest that even in tragedy comes the certainty of progress - of reaching further and higher.
In the seasons we worked in McMurdo together, Clay and I had opportunity during late night shifts for occasional, musings, speculations, stories, and of course, frequent laughter. During all those exchanges, I never knew him to utter a single negative, sarcastic, or cynical comment. That simply wasn't in his repertoire. Instead, he seemed perennialy focused on possibilities, solutions, and the never-ending process of discovery that life offers. From the posts of others, it's clear he lived to act on those possibilites. His upbeat, proactive outlook clearly influenced and lifted the spirits of everyone around him. By that measure, it would be difficult to imagine a more balanced and successful life.
One of my strongest core beliefs is that those who've passed beyond our terrestrial reach remain with us in the ways in which we do and see things differently than we might have had we not come under their influence. From that perspective, I know Clay will always remain with us, and I thank him for that gift.
In the seasons we worked in McMurdo together, Clay and I had opportunity during late night shifts for occasional, musings, speculations, stories, and of course, frequent laughter. During all those exchanges, I never knew him to utter a single negative, sarcastic, or cynical comment. That simply wasn't in his repertoire. Instead, he seemed perennialy focused on possibilities, solutions, and the never-ending process of discovery that life offers. From the posts of others, it's clear he lived to act on those possibilites. His upbeat, proactive outlook clearly influenced and lifted the spirits of everyone around him. By that measure, it would be difficult to imagine a more balanced and successful life.
One of my strongest core beliefs is that those who've passed beyond our terrestrial reach remain with us in the ways in which we do and see things differently than we might have had we not come under their influence. From that perspective, I know Clay will always remain with us, and I thank him for that gift.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
So many fond memories!
I first met Clay in 1992 on my first deployment to McMurdo. We flew down together and I have a clear memory of Clay arriving on station that year and a number of folks really excited to see his return. I thought to myself, this guy must be something special to have so many so happy to see him. We became good friends over the next few years and traveled through Tasmania in 1995. That trip was a true testiment to Clay's devotion to his friends; my behavior was less than stellar. Every time I think of that trip I can't help but laugh about Clay's concern for my safety and my always rude response - I never understood why Clay would ever talk to me again - like I said he's a devoted friend.
I had known of Rachel for years before meeting Clay, we have a mutual friend, but we had never met. I then had the honor to meet Rachel through Clay. When they got engaged on the ice I told Rachel that two of my favorite people in the whole world were getting married - and I really, really meant it.
Clay, where ever you are - please know that each of us with you today and forever.
I had known of Rachel for years before meeting Clay, we have a mutual friend, but we had never met. I then had the honor to meet Rachel through Clay. When they got engaged on the ice I told Rachel that two of my favorite people in the whole world were getting married - and I really, really meant it.
Clay, where ever you are - please know that each of us with you today and forever.
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