This Is Hard!!

This has been a tough few weeks for me. Now I know why. You have been found. I really hope there is a life after because I really have a lot of shit I want to talk to you about!

Our Eternal Love

Bob & Wendy

A Forever Friend

Since Clay disappeared in November, whenever I look at his photo or think of him(which
has been so often!), I hear his voice greeting me, "ANNIE B'NANNIE!!" Then I hear his greeting to Sally Ayotte, "SALLY RAND McNALLY!!" And I hear his laugh, always his laugh.
I am writing from McMurdo, where I am wintering over, and where I knew Clay best. I had
the pleasure of knowing Clay and working with him here at MacOps, doing field party radio
communications. While we rarely worked 'together' due to our alternating shifts, we had
common interests and friends, and we had what I sometimes call a "just add water" friendship.
It was so easy to be Clay's friend.
Many words come to mind in describing Clay: funny and quirky, solid and dependable, a gentle-man, loyal, articulate and sharp. He was wise beyond his years. Talking with a friend about the lack of clues around his disappearance, she wondered if he might have been taken by a spaceship? "Because he'd be the kind of human being, that a civilization on another planet would want to learn from!" she said. No doubt about it, he was special. He was truly a gift to us all.
Year after year, I couldn't figure out why this wonderful, tall, dark and handsome man remained
single? Until Rachel came along. Instead of being the 'girl next door', she was the 'girl on the radio crew next door'. Together, their laughs multiplied. Their love was born, and their life together grew. Since then, between Denali NPS and Glacier NPS, NZ and the ice, it has been so great to continue to cross paths with you both!
My last correspondence with Clay had to do with one of his great passions in life, career and life skills coaching. Clay was a man who lived by his convictions, he walked his talk. He did in life
as he did on the trail-encouraged us all to reach our full potential, to explore, to go the distance. As he offered me thoughts on taking the necessary steps toward a new life path, he shared a pieced-together quote from Loving What Is, by one of his recent favorite authors, Byron Katie: "We never receive more than we can handle and there is always just one thing to do... Whether you have ten dollars or ten million dollars, life never gets more difficult than that. We really are alive when we live as simply as that-open, waiting, trusting, and loving what appears in front of us now. What we need to do unfolds before us, always."
With so much love to you, Rachel, and to all of the Rubano family.

Update from Freemont County Sheriff's Office

It is still winter up on the mountain with snow forcasted for the rest of the week. Everyone is prepared to continue looking for Clay and giving the family and friends some closure. It is the intention of the Fremont County Sheriff's Office to cover the entire area again with Search Dogs when the weather warms up enough to effectively utilize the dogs. There is also a pretty strong local group of people that are on standby waiting for the right time. We cannot set a specific date as Mother Nature never tells us when it will thaw enough to search. We are wanting to get in the area prior to high water and as soon as reasonably possible. I believe it will probably be mid-May before we go, but if we get a very warm week, we will go asap. John Gookin of NOLS is our Search and Rescue Commander in Lander and John will run this search.

I spoke with Margaret Goodro about a month ago and she is planning on another search in early June. Margaret is the Chief Ranger in the Roosevelt Lake area. She will be the Incident Commander for that search and can be reached at phone 509-633-9441 or at e-mail Margaret_Goodro@nps.gov
Margaret is very sharp and keeps the Sheriff's office in the loop of her plans and works very well with us.

In closing, I feel we have an excellent chance of recovering Clay. I want to thank everyone for their patience and understanding in the matter.


Captain David Good
Fremont County Sheriff's Office
460 Railroad
Lander, Wyoming 82520
phone 307-332-1024
e-mail dgood@wyoming.com

A Bear Hug for Rachel

On Friday, Jan. 25, the Glacier National Park community hosted a benefit to help raise money for spring search efforts. The benefit consisted of a chili cook-off plus a live and silent auction. Because a number of folks were unable to attend the actual event, a virtual auction was held the week prior.

Event organizers were amazed by the turn-out and generosity of folks, over 170 auction items were donated. All the auctions were a source of laughter and entertainment. Some of the hot ticket items were original oil paintings of Glacier landscapes plus Jan Knox's bears. Jan made green and gray ranger uniforms, complete with flat hats, for these cute stuffed bears.

Almost $10,000 was raised between the chili feed, auctions and donations. What a tremendous bear hug for Rachel.

Posted for Jan Cauthorn-Page

2008 - HAPPY NEW YEAR, Big Brother !!!

ON EARTH, THE SUN GUIDED YOU BY DAY & THE STARS BY NIGHT ---
YOUR LAUGHTER BROUGHT GOOD CHEER & YOUR SMILE A BRIGHT LIGHT.

SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS, HONESTY, SENSITIVITY & DARING ---
YOU WENT ABOUT YOUR LIFE SPREADING HOPE, WISDOM & CARING.

NOW, ANGELS CARRY YOU TO A NEW KIND OF HOME ---
FLYING OVER THE WORLD WHICH YOU LOVED TO ROAM.

YOU FEEL WONDER & JOY AS THEIR WINGS TOUCH THE SKY ---
YOU LOOK DOWN WITH LOVE ... AND WAVE A LAST GOODBYE.

NOW, YOU SEE EVERY PERSON YOU EVER KNEW ---
THE SPIRIT OF EACH ONE IS CARRIED IN YOU.

YOU THANK EACH ONE IN VERY SPECIAL & UNIQUE WAYS ---
GIVING US GIFTS FROM NATURE TO TREASURE IN FUTURE DAYS.

THIS PAST CHRISTMAS IN TWO-THOUSAND AND SEVEN ---
YOU GAVE ME A SAND-DOLLAR SENT STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN.

ON THIS COLD WINTER DAY, YOU HELPED ME TO COPE ---
A SIMPLE GIFT FROM THE SEA FILLED MY SOUL WITH HOPE.

I KNEW YOU HAD FOUND PEACE & WERE SMILING FROM ABOVE ---
I KNEW YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE HOLDING ME IN LOVE.

NEAR OR FAR, I KEEP YOU FOREVER IN MY HEART ---
BIG BROTHER & LITTLE SISTER NEVER FAR APART.

YOUR SPIRIT SOARS LIKE AN EAGLE IN THE WIND ---
YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR JOURNEY IN A STORY WITHOUT END.

NOW, WITH GREAT EASE YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART'S TRUE DESIRE ---
LOOK, THERE YOU GO AGAIN ... CLIMBING EVEN HIGHER!

Happy New Year, Big Brother!!

With Everlasting Love,
Joanie

P.S. - I want to encourage anyone who reads this blog to seek the gifts Clay brings to you too !!

Message from Della Lonner

Just looking at Clay's picture on this blog makes me smile. Clay has such good energy about him that he makes everyone smile. I have known Clay and Rachel since 2001, from working in the beautiful Many Glacier valley. They are like family to me even though I've only known them for 7 years. The summers I worked the same position as Clay were most fun! He taught me to be professional on the radio as well as all the ins and outs of good communication.

People would come in to the ranger station when I was working and with a shocked and disappointed look on their faces say, "Oh. You're not Clay. Where is he? When will he be back?" At first I was offended but then I realized that these people had bonded with Clay after only talking to him for a few minutes! I would just smile and tell them that he'd be back in a few days. They would accept their defeat and slump out the door to wait out the non-Clay days at the ranger station. I told Clay about this occuring and he just laughed his cheery and yet humble laugh.

I feel fortunate to have had a job where I looked forward to going to work. The reason was because of good people like Clay and Rachel! They make life fun and you just want to be around them as much as possible.The other day a lady was telling me about a friend of hers who went on a hike and did not show up. A month later he made it out. He had fallen and hit his head and had amnesia. He didn't know where he was but he made it out. Crazy things happen in life.

Clay and Rachel, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

I love you both!-Della

Message from Lisa Ferber

My favorite memories/images of Clay are crossing paths with him skate skiing on the Willy road at McMurdo and also Clay and Rachel glowing together at Sunday brunch in the galley surrounded by good friends…

As so many of you have already said, what a bright star Clay will always be! Clay has been so wonderfully encouraging of my career path/soul searching especially this past year. He always has great recommendations of articles to read, things to think about, tools to use, etc. When I was so tired of trying to figure it out and I wanted to just sign up for a school program, Clay encouraged me to keep exploring alternatives for just a bit longer. Only because of this encouragement did I continue to search and am now on a path I would not have before considered. Thanks, Clay! I especially think of one nugget of wisdom that he passed along to me…that when we prioritize our lives, we should aim to do those activities that are our highest priorities at the time of day that we are most productive. I think of this each day and try to make it happen because it is seriously good advice! Also, as someone also said before, his “checking in” emails come at exactly the right times. Of course, Clay has insight, ideas, and resources for many other life areas besides career stuff, including broken hearts and illnesses.

I have been wanting to write to this blog for some time now, but it felt hard to find the words. Indeed, this situation of having Clay still missing has shaken my foundation of seemingly cliché ideals including “everything happens for a reason” and “things work out exactly as they should.” Nothing can explain this situation to me. This situation has given me understanding of some of the people whom I did not hear from when I was sick a few years ago. I now understand how it feels to want to express something, but to feel unable to find the right words.

Rachel & Clay, you are in my thoughts more often than you could know.

BIG HUGS! Lisa

lisa_ferber@yahoo.com

It is hard not to smile when we think of Clay!

Like many, I want to say something about Clay to help put a smile on many disbelieving faces. Thinking back over the years there were so many profound things that Clay and I had dialogs and emails about. They ranged from the state of the universe to the movie, “What the Bleep…” No doubt that I was not the only one.

Back in 1995, I met Clay when out of the blue I received a call from him wanting to meet Wendy and I to discuss an idea he had about experiential learning for corporate teams. We had never met this guy, but when we did meet at a micro brewery in San Diego, he already knew more about our website and business plan than we did. Wendy later shared that she thought he was an investigative reporter researching us. Her thoughts quickly quelled because of his sincerity, warmth and that laugh. Eventually, when he was at RMOC, we did work together on some projects that were not only great fun, but very effective team programs.

Rachel, rarely did Clay really talk about himself in depth to me. He was not secretive, but just quiet about himself. One day, I receive the rare phone call and we talked a bit about him feeling that he was searching for something or someone. It was intense and it bothered him enough to call. Many emails later, it was clear that it was someone he was searching for. I remember that he talked a lot about the book Wendy and I wrote about how we met and the defining moments that came quickly for us. Typical Clay, he wanted to analyze all the details. I actually got mad at him and wrote this lengthy email about how he should stop trying to figure it out and start making “left turns” in his life when everything logical told him to turn right. Well he did, and it was not too long later that I received an email about this person named Rachel. Clay was ecstatic!

Like others, I remember the famous email from “the ice” announcing the engagement and I could feel his sense of adventure, excitement and completeness. I clearly remember, as if it was today, feeling Clay’s sense of being whole and complete.

Rachel, Wendy and I believe that there is nothing greater that one person can offer another than to make them whole and complete. We know for sure that you are that person for Clay.

All of our love to you Rachel. Hope to see you soon.

Bob Root & Wendy Steele

It's the little things . . .

Though Clay and Rachel have been on my mind constantly ever since I received the news that he was missing, I waited to write for fear my post might not be profound or meaningful enough to add to the blog. I decided to write anyway because regardless of how well I knew Clay, he has touched my life. It may not be profound to others, but Clay enriched my life through the little things: by being himself, sharing experiences in the Many Glacier community, and by making me smile.

Every time Clay comes to mind, I see him smiling, standing tall in his green and gray ranger uniform, in charge of the Many Glacier Ranger Station. I say "in charge" because he ran that place like no one else (no offense to my other friends who have also done outstanding work behind that desk). I'm sure he got just as tired of all the same questions as everyone else does, but he never let that show to the visitors. He was professional, knowledgeable, and pleasant in every visitor contact I ever saw him make. Every time I was able to help him in any capacity he always thanked me with a smile, a nod of his head, and a, "Thank you for your help in these matters." He made coming to the Ranger Station a joy and always said something that sent me away with a smile on my face. Most recently, this summer, Clay made me smile (maybe even blush) by bringing to my mind a Nattie he remembered me receiving years ago. (There are some things we'd like people to forget.) :) He "oohed and ahhed" with us at the Fourth of July, laughed and imbibed with us at the Margaritaville party, and was always fun to talk with whenever our paths crossed whether in the Ranger Station, the laundry room, or at a potluck.

Clay is an important member of our Glacier community, a group of people who share a special bond. From what I have read, it appears that Clay was important to many other groups and individuals as well. Thank you for your impact on all of us, Clay. We all miss you greatly and are thinking of you with a smile.

Search update

A stalwart and devoted crew spent Tues, Wed & Thurs searching a few areas of interest as reported by the previous dog teams. No new clues were found and this likely ends the search effort through the winter, unless any major new developments emerge. If people would like specifics or are considering their own search up the canyon, please check in with Capt. David Good at the Sheriff's Office as they will remain the primary point of contact.

Margaret Goodro is planning a search in the spring and if you are interested in participating, please contact her at: mlgoodro@yahoo.com.

Rachel is currently down in Colorado Springs to be with her family. Please feel free to send her an email or to post your thoughts on this blog.

Thank you to everyone for the caring and support you have shown during these difficult times. Clay and Rachel are in all of our thoughts.